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Audio Refugees • View topic - "Spinning, Standing Still"

"Spinning, Standing Still"

This is the place to go for preliminary critiques if you're interested in getting some community feedback on improvements to your song BEFORE entering it into the Audiopolis Review System. Don't come in expecting nothing but praise - this is a place to get advice and learn about making your tunes better.

"Spinning, Standing Still"

Postby PopTodd » Sat Dec 28, 2013 7:03 pm

This is NOT a final mix.
I also have a full-band mix in the works.
http://soundcloud.com/poptodd/spinning- ... g-still-12

Just curious as to hear what folks have to say.
That is all.
Thanks!

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Re: "Spinning, Standing Still"

Postby PopTodd » Sat Dec 28, 2013 7:05 pm

And here are the lyrics:

1.
When we pushed
Out of winter
We went right through the summer
And straight into the fall
Then we fell
And kept on falling
The world was a blur
As we tried to grasp it all

But we couldn’t find the handle
And it all just sort of of slipped away
We were flailing in the dark
And smashed whatever got in our way

The more that we touched
The more we smashed to dust
But we do what we must

AND WE’RE SPINNING (x2)
WE’RE SPINNING BUT WE’RE STANDING STILL

2.
We broke
Through our changes
Until we came upon a time
When there was nothing left to change
And we smashed
All our mirrors
But the same old faces
Looked right back our way

We couldn’t find a quiet spot
To get another start
Every new beginning
Very quickly fell apart

The more that we touched
The more we smashed to dust
But we do what we must

AND WE’RE SPINNING (x2)
WE’RE SPINNING BUT WE’RE STANDING STILL

(solo/bridge)

The more that we touched
The more we smashed to dust
But we do what we must

AND WE’RE SPINNING (x2)
WE’RE SPINNING BUT WE’RE STANDING STILL

© 2013 Todd Leiter-Weintraub

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Re: "Spinning, Standing Still"

Postby Krispy » Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:11 am

This is the very first thing I've listened to with my new soundcard Todd - you'll have wait a very long time before you get another great honour like that.

It's always interesting to hear the bare bones of a song, to see if the structure will hold flesh or remain thin. This is very sparse, apart from a few bursts like that mental guitar-sounds-like-keyboard thing, so it's quite hard to tell. In this form the repeated ending seems overstated but that might change, and I'm okay with the central theme of spinning but standing still, it's an accessible image. The 'smashed to dust' line stood out, gives the first clue about the story which emerges after a couple of plays. So it doesn't suck.
Let us hear the band mix when you've got it.
To save time, assume I know everything
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Re: "Spinning, Standing Still"

Postby PopTodd » Sun Dec 29, 2013 3:01 pm

Thanks so much, K!
There are still some issues with the full-band thing--and a couple of vocal tracks that I want to add, harmonies and whatnot.
I'm glad that you mentioned the guitar thing, as I'm very proud of that: 6 tracks of guitar harmonies. Originally I was hoping to do something a la Brian May, but... yeah right! Turned out more like Fripp on Another Green World. And I am just fine with that!
The full mix has both drum machine and a full human-played kit, bass (which I need to re-track), piano, and moog synth. It sounds a LOT different already and I'm excited to unveil it all for you folks.
Again: thanks so much for your feedback. It's great to hear nice things from somebody that you respect as a musician.

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Re: "Spinning, Standing Still"

Postby steban » Mon Dec 30, 2013 3:34 pm

I listened this morning, Todd, and I enjoyed the song almost as much as one can enjoy a song about getting nowhere fast. Guitar and other music was catchy, your vocals are already pretty spot on, you have a very pleasant voice.

I'm divided on either the lyrical conclusion or the tone of the words. It's not just what you say, it is the editorial comment of how you say it, and in this case it is mainly in the neutral zone, a stark realization of the average modern human predicament, being lost in the crowd, invisible except to an astonishingly small circle of people. All that you express very keenly, and boy don't we all understand! Well, I think so because I hear that reiterated in one way or another in many songs.

I like the 'we' in the point of view, as I think you intend to express our shared experience, not just a personal one. And at the very end its touch of chaos and energy are putting a more positive 'spin' on the defeatist/going in circles observation, and perhaps in a final version it will heat up even more because really and truly the paradox is not entirely depressing, it could be a lot worse, it could be collapse. Spinning, standing still, but not falling down, and if we do it's getting back up and spinning until we are dizzy all over like kids do playing.
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Re: "Spinning, Standing Still"

Postby PopTodd » Mon Dec 30, 2013 3:43 pm

Thank YOU, Steb!
An interesting and wholly wonderful take on it. I had not considered wrapping it up in such a way, but I like it.
Much appreciate your ear and your observations!

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Re: "Spinning, Standing Still"

Postby Krispy » Mon Dec 30, 2013 9:00 pm

To save time, assume I know everything
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Re: "Spinning, Standing Still"

Postby PopTodd » Thu Jan 23, 2014 12:38 pm

I'm going back to the drawing board on this one.
Starting from scratch on Tuesday -- rerecording the whole thing. It's a mess. And, it's also too damn slow.

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