"Angels Weeping (Once Lovely in the Distance)"

[HUD]

Well, les get this pahty stahted...
Wrote this Monday & Tuesday, practiced yesterday, recorded acoustic guit & vocal, each straight through.
I'm picturing this as bass, clean electric, acoustic guit, drums, backup vox.
It maybe seems a little long, but I need all of it to get through the story, and think that added texture, color and tapdancing will keep it interesting.
The idea originated from a scary Dr Who episode called "Blink", all about some weeping angels.


Angels Weeping (Once Lovely in the Distance)
words & music - Daniel P Hudelson

Laughing, playing, running down the hall
What’s around the bend, we don’t care at all
Never a worry for reason or for rhyme
Every moment longer than a lifetime

Never more laughs than when it’s open season
Running in a pack, ever so pleasing
There, the plump one, kick it in the bum
Funny, crying, turn and run

Never hear it never really listening
Grandfather clock
Like the turtle creeping ‘cross the garden
Never really move
Don’t bother to prove
Cause they don’t really move
So we think

Suddenly the Christmas tree is smaller-
Not looking for toys, looking for the dollar
Surrender to a pair of dancing eyes
No time for reason, reaching for the prize

Watch and learn , join the adventure
Join the firm it’s time to be indentured
We’re a plump one, happy as they come
Ever more fleeting, each fistful of fun

Never hear it never really listening
Grandfather clock
Like the statues weeping in the garden
Never really move
Don’t bother to prove
Cause they don’t really move
So we think

Simple mathematics and history, telling us where we’re heading
(they’re) Drawing closer when we don’t look, less pleasant to behold
Now filling our hearts with mortal terror, face-to-face
Angels weeping, once lovely in the distance
Angels weeping, once lovely in the distance

Sitting in the garden, watch the children play
They’re so loud, rude things they say
Summer’s too hot, pray the sun will set
Pray for the dark without regret

Laughing, playing, running down the hall
What’s around the bend, we don’t care at all
Never a worry for reason or for rhyme
Every moment longer than a lifetime

Never heard it never really listened
Grandfather clock
Like the angels weeping in the garden
Never seemed to move
Didn’t bother to prove
But they only move
When we blink

Angels weeping, once lovely in the distance

[cjdenecia]

I'm familiar with th episode - obviously inspired by and not about .... fair enough.

yeah - well .... really sorta love the acoustic and style and progression ... the song was near it's end before I could place the vocals comfortably over it though. mostly cus the lyrics are soooooooo busy. and chance you might wanna chop 'em up some? more sustained lines? spaces? no? ok - but even though I'm sure you're not familiar enough with it yet to really sing it with confidence - therefore, far more polish - I do think it could stand to be a lot less wordy - it might always sound shoehorned in. the bed style is stephen stills and the vocals are jethro tull (sorta and sorta respectively)

but drums (with a solid beat - no pauses, rests, hiccups or non groove grooves), bass, maybe some electric .... acoustic is too strong to allow a piano or any keys standing in it's way. a great fiddle player might work too.

early stage 2 cents - that.

[HUD]

Well thanks cj... my only friend in this lonely place :*(
I guess you'd think "I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General" was too wordy...well that was its point. I was thinking of a lyrical delivery similar to The Hollies' "Stop! Stop! Stop!" Some Squeeze tunes like that too. Snappy rhymes and syllables, and feel like a need every last one of 'em. But I might consider where some editing might help. Could knock the tempo back down from 140 to 130, but then it's a 5:00 song. Would love a few more opinions here.
Funny guy about the drum beat, obviously dredging up again that "To Be With You" ...that I recorded round 1995. Think I've gotten slightly better since then. Still think "Drowning" was just fine in that regard, BTW. Did you think "Stranger of Every" had problems groovewise?
I've been actually wondering whether I like that intro, which is supposed to be a foretaste of the bridge, but maybe too different from the verse.
The ending was just kinda stuck on there for now, sounding a little too tidy and poppish, until I figure out something better.
I do appreciate your listen and input, cj.
So you like Dr Who? I actually joinded a forum and shit...might as well talk about whatever, since this seems to be as good a place as any for a private conversation...

[cjdenecia]

Well thanks cj... my only friend in this lonely place :*(

better to be lonely than loved and coddled by fools. I'd hope that this forum is one that actually challenges to change or convinces to hold because of the cards and not the player.

I guess you'd think "I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General" was too wordy...well that was its point. I was thinking of a lyrical delivery similar to The Hollies' "Stop! Stop! Stop!" Some Squeeze tunes like that too. Snappy rhymes and syllables, and feel like a need every last one of 'em. But I might consider where some editing might help. Could knock the tempo back down from 140 to 130, but then it's a 5:00 song. Would love a few more opinions here.

I know what you're saying about the approach of lyrics and melody over the guitar BUT - after listening again tonight, I'm even more convinced that you are trying to marry two very incompatible partners. I really still love the guitar part. and have begun to move it's origins to something more advanced than I first considered. now - I'm hearing it as something even jimi page might have discovered with stills in a bottle and a puff. which is all the more reason for the vocals to be in contrast but accentuating instead of opposing. without all the trimmings - I'm hearing the core of both parts and I just don't think you're letting the two sides of your musicality coexist in unison. you've written a musical passage that flows eccentrically but with a syncopated rhythm that is not as sing-song as your melodic lyrical side is trying to make it. it's calling out for soemthing more folky than you might have considered. something deliberate and considered. something that might have nothing to do with it's inspiration nor what you've done so far.

I think the guitar and the basic musical backdrop is strong as hell - and deserves to be followed down the road it has forged for itself - not what you wanted it to be. what it is. something we do so often - get pigheaded about where it all came from - instead of letting the music speak and command it's path. that's something that a singer (only) does with an instrumentalists ideas. so move outside yourself to your other self and consider what you might do with that bed if you disconnected and reconnected based on not what you intended - but what you let yourself hear.

Funny guy about the drum beat, obviously dredging up again that "To Be With You" ...that I recorded round 1995. Think I've gotten slightly better since then. Still think "Drowning" was just fine in that regard, BTW. Did you think "Stranger of Every" had problems groovewise?

hud, my man - it's a style you love. you put that beat texturing into so much of what you did and do. you use a lot of 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and ... and frequently use the "and" at the end as a beatable pause. and beats with a pause will never ever be groovy. they may be artsy and they may be original and sometimes they're even flowing in the big song picture but they're never ever beat oriented. cus music with a groove is never ever hard to grab. it's always in your face and you feet. and fingers and toes. and it's always steady freddy. you can dance to it without throwing out your neck. or in this case, blinking. in the pause. what I'm saying is that maybe if you just stick to a solid 4/4 and accentuate with snare on 2 and 4 - with constant hats ...

anyway - enough on all that. ison and/or stebs would surely disagree.

So you like Dr Who? I actually joinded a forum and shit...might as well talk about whatever, since this seems to be as good a place as any for a private conversation...

it really doesn't matter if I like the doctor or not - it's a british institution. as much or more of a national treasure as james bond or for that matter - putting the kettle on. it's celebrated and anticipated. brit tv is different in many many ways from american tv - especially bbc projects. and they're quite snobbish about their homegrown heroes and style. sometimes rightly so - other times - naively backwards, simplistic and downright lame. sometimes completely brilliant. but the thing is - the scope is small. remember, we have only about 60 million on these two islands. there are a small core group of actors. many of them we see year after year - but in different short projects. it's actually quite incestuous. but breeds familiarity. and makes the actors stretch beyond their accepted norms.

and this matt smith (current doctor) is really quite all right. and his support is cool too - amy pond is a good partner. but I guess I will always appreciate the previous doctor actor more. he was older and more the doctor to me. but that might change if smith is in the part for a number of years. it'll be very important for all the remaining episodes to be strong. one this year was a complete throwaway and if you only do 6 or 8 per year, there is no room for "average" or duds. to be honest, the angels episode was barely above par for me. it had very strong story lines but within it was some cheap plot workings. and fx and execution could have been far better. but it helped the series build ....

[Krispy]

The idea originated from a scary Dr Who episode called "Blink", all about some weeping angels.

Your song is not scary.

Definitely too long. Pretty opening chords and the entrance of the voice is a bit of a shock on the first go. Then you get used to it.
I think it's in danger of having too many words, too many ideas thrown out at once, although I quite like the skipping, dive-into-corners pattern of the vocals. Maybe that could do with a few repetitions so we get a chance to catch up. Thems breathing spaces happen with a little hesitation toward the end at 4:11 with "They...they only move...when we blink 4:11. More of that shit please. Relax man, find your neutral space.
Whole thing's successfully evocative with some sweet twiddly guitar playing. Bass should perhaps be sparse? The music deffo breaks away from the darkness and menace of the Doc Who tale.
But yeah, I do hear its potential for a full-on Hud production.
I would like to do some angelic backing vocals over the "angels weeping..." part, if I can pass the audition.

[HUD]

Glad you could join us, Krisp.
I was thinking about changing the into to just be a half the verse progression, also wondering whether the vocal entrance wasn't feeling right with the current intro.
Like I said, I do feel like I need all them words work through the idea. But I'm uploaded a guitar-only mp3 here. Maybe you two could put your heads together on how you'd like to re-work the vocals, slice 'n' dice and whatever. I'm not afraid of sharing writing credits here.
I wasn't trying to be scary in any macabre presention sense, but sobering subject matter hiding behind a sing songy thing.
I'm kinda more a 10th doctor guy myself, but Matt Smith has had more consistent material than Tennant had. Like the timey-wimey stuff more than monster-of-the-week stuff.

[Krispy]

Glad you could join us, Krisp.

Yes, cosy, wasn't it?

Like I said, I do feel like I need all them words work through the idea.

You could write a book instead.

I'm kinda more a 10th doctor guy myself, but Matt Smith has had more consistent material than Tennant had.

I'm an Eccleston man myself.

[mistertroll]

I'm an Eccleston man myself.

Hm.

[HUD]

Thanks for the input, Mr Troll.

[mistertroll]

Thanks for the input, Mr Troll.

Kimmers calling herself an "Eccleston man" just struck me funny. Sorry if I intruded...

[cjdenecia]

... anyway - before it gets all urinated in here for absolutely no reason - grabbed a copy of the guitar part and have listened to it a couple of times and am currently trying to wrap the gray matter around the arrangement. I got distracted by a foot scrubbing and some silly litigation support writings I had to do, as well as having to justify why I don't wanna vote in the UK to some spanish dude who shits rice and throws around gold.

but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking seriously about sticking my oar in the water. as long as you have a moment or two to ponder the meaning of "pull your finger out" while I get to it.

[Steve Ison]

I thought it was really cool n creative Hud..I like the vocal line n disagree with cj and Kim that there's too many words..It is what it is-and the vocal line ('specially the verse) is instantly followable n natural..
Definitely get the Jethro Tull vibe..
A good hand percussion feel'd go really well
Productionwise (if you develop it) i reckon def don't have that big reverby sound on the lead voc or acoustic-'cos they are busy..Keep them pretty dry..Add the spaciness from other instruments/Kim doing angelic harmonies etc..It'll make it seem more approachable and let people follow the lyrics more clearly..

[HUD]

Thanks so much for stopping by, SteveL. I'll definitely take your suggestions under consideration.
I've been kind of distracted the past few weeks - thought maybe I'd get something from cj, but no worries there.
Definitely need to get back on this. Laid down some drums, but it's looking like it'll be more trouble than often - I had this mapped out for 140 bpm, but all my loops sounded too busy, so I mapped it at half time or 70 bpm. So I found then found some loops I liked, but they're created for 90 bpm and sound unnatural, slowed to 70. SO...I'll use'm as a guide to lay out individual drum hits...(anybody still readin?? )

[cjdenecia]

Thanks so much for stopping by, SteveL. I'll definitely take your suggestions under consideration.
I've been kind of distracted the past few weeks - thought maybe I'd get something from cj, but no worries there.
Definitely need to get back on this. Laid down some drums, but it's looking like it'll be more trouble than often - I had this mapped out for 140 bpm, but all my loops sounded too busy, so I mapped it at half time or 70 bpm. So I found then found some loops I liked, but they're created for 90 bpm and sound unnatural, slowed to 70. SO...I'll use'm as a guide to lay out individual drum hits...(anybody still readin?? )

I'd have thought I'd have thought I'd have come up with something by now too - me doing the talk and all .... but to be honest, in reality, my concentration level lately has been quite like ol' jaymzies. nill. sorry .... might still do it but yeah, I dropped the ball thus far.

[steban]

I just rewatched that episode recently. I didn't pick up on the direct reference until after I'd read a few lyrics and was hearing it.

Good song, Hud, and I love the use of stuff even at this level of pop culture, hey I have Me and You and Dr Who, so why not?

It reminds me of a Dead song, one of those classic western outlaw ballads, but you do have that Tull unabashed teller of other kinds of stories, with just a touch of the New Bohemians in the melody, but isn't all that almost unavoidable?

For those guys it always seemed like a good excuse to get carried away in the jam. You need a lot of words sometimes, and somehow the song remains the same almost.

I like it raw and unplugged and new sounding. It may one day change, I may, blink, but I respect this one.

Not very scary, though!