I think number one's main problem is that the verses containing really difficult lyrics share the upbeat lightness of the chorus. That soaring, poppy vibe works well on the ‘love can wash it away’ part but not so much on ‘misery and blood’, huh?
You say you were instrumentally limited, and some more organic (maybe even African) instruments might’ve deepened it with some authenticity, but yeah, the keyboard makes me think of Duran Duran or sunnit.
For some bizarre reason - and before I grabbed 'Love Can' - Peter Gabriel’s The Rhythm Of The Heat popped into my head as an example and reference point for the kind of setting your subject matter might need.
I immediately like number two much better as a context of the message it’s delivering. Agreeably darker and heavier, it examines ideas in images much more, rather than attempting to explain. The vocal is kind of unrepetent in its more detached coolness, the robotic nature seems to imply more anger and disgust than in its distant sibling. The crazy panning/effects at the end makes my head spin, that's a cool idea to use disorientation to somehow communicate the song's inherent distress.
Now, what might be velly interesting would be to see if you could combine the two, put the Rwanda lyric idea down on a similarly heavy bed track with a more minimalist, image-based, observational standpoint.
